La Llorona [ya-ron-a]...

You know the name strikes fear in your inner child. They told you the tale to keep you from playing by the water when you were young. Indeed...La Llorona has enriched and terrorized our memories of camp stories that make the boogeyman seem like a teletubby...

If you haven't heard of La Llorona...

Why don't you google search her then. HA HA HAAAA!!!!

The Mad Dash to End This Damn Year!!!!!

Yeah, this year had some nice shit in it, but the memory usually manipulates reflection often with current events. I got a flat tire in the morning on Tuesday. I dealt with that and worked. After work I got in an accident...wtf. Luckily the car is fine other than minor shit, but still...damn.

Earlier this month I started using myspace since it seems everyone on the planet whom is CPU and internet aware tend to flock there, so I followed the rest of the sheep and set that shit up. In searching for peeps, I get the idea to look up a sweetheart I hadn't seen in years and dropped off the planet before I got married. I almost didn't get married because of her. Anyhow, I've been on a never ending crusade for about a year now involving resolving any lost or unknown relationships with people. She was the last one. It's a shame because until her, I was able to mend and repair all of the damaged relationships I can think of that had any relevance. Well, the purpose of this 'crusade' was to establish conclusion, not salvage every single relationship. Nothing a few of these can't cure!!!





Based on those recent events, I'm about ready for a new year. A FRESH START...if you will say.

MEXICAN MELTDOWN: Belous Birthday Bash 2005

Looking back at me previous post, I recall making a big deal about moving to a new place. HA! Don't get me wrong, it's a sweet place and everything, I just laught at myself at how I build things up smetimes. Anyhow, that's what it was, a move!

As for the Borthday Bash...

It was one helluva time with some good friends. I was worried that our new neighbors would call the po po on us for causing a ruckus, but it never happened. Here's a few pics from the Bash:


































GOOD TIMES!

Soon...

Something is changing within. The resurrection is near. 3 days of calm. Then 1 night of madness.

The Mc-K Sisters

Had dinner with Rageous Maximus and the Notorious Mc-Ks...kinda sounds like a band name...hmmm. Anyhow, don't mind the sister to the left. I caught her offguard and she's one stunning (and goofy) mamacita. These girls used to break boys daily in HS. No one was safe. It was good to see them together again.

Ed Tribute

Some more Van Halen. There's something I dig about the lines man.

The Right Sidebar - Rules of Engagement

As you may notice, I have added in a second sidebar to the blog. I've decided to break it down for those whom are not exactly the sharpest Poncho around the block.

The Babe of the Month the girl whom I ran across throughout my endeavors online and found striking in any fashion I please. This girl is like a champion in a never ending competition and can be thrown off the mountain at any time by another sweet piece of 'tang. It can be a celeb, it can be a normal person.



Carolina is some hottie whose blog I ran into on myspace. Gorgeous, normal woman.

At any time a babe can make the hall of fame list. There is no criteria for this list other than I find them more striking than normal.

The Tard Hall of Fame is for Ridiculous imbecile. Point blank. It would actually take a lot for someone to get on this list.

CD of the Month is what I will have in my CD player for the majority of the month.

I'll probably add more throughout time, but this is a satisfying start.

UncleCabo's Art

Just a little art created by your Uncle Cabo.

Ultimate Warrior: The First Tard

So I must admit, I am an avid wrestling follower. I have watched wrestling since I was a young boy and quite frankly, it was worth watching then. WWF, WCW, ECW, NWA, AWA, USWA, all the territory bullshit had so much flavor. Nowadays it's all about WWE and the flavor is bland half the time. Despite that I still do follow up.

With this said, it came to my attention that there was a very interesting DVD on the horizon called "The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior". Point blank…this man is a fucking tard. Now for the peeps that might get offended on the terms of “Why you gotta mess with retarded people or challenged people Cabo?” Fuck you. Did I say retard, no I said tard. Sure, it’s not your fault I use my own terminology, but I know there are a few that will read the word tard and instant cock their neck back in offense. A tard is someone who one could mistake as a challenged person, but is actually to fucking stupid to be normal and is beyond stupid and even idiotic.

Now, the Ultimate Warrior INDEED is a tard. I’ve come to this conclusion just based on him BEFORE the DVD. He thinks the Ultimate Warrior is actually something more than a mere wrestling character. He self-righteously writes online on his website (quite often in the 3rd person) and has pretty much developed his own philosophy. There is nothing wrong with this other than the fact that it’s FUCKING STUPID! It’s basically a borrowing of several philosophies rolled around the character “Ultimate Warrior” as if the Warrior is actually real and is actually relevant.

In the DVD, it seems to hit the spot. A man who had all the pieces as a character, but no actual ability other than running around like a speeding lunatic rocker who didn’t know how to tie his shoe laces so just put them on his arms to keep until he could figure it out. Several people confirm this in the DVD. Now when it’s just one or so, I could see a debate, but when everyone is saying the same thing, well shit dude, get a clue!

So after watching, I check online and behold: Warrior unleashes a huge epic regarding the DVD. He actually doesn’t even go into the DVD stuff, he simply attacks every person associated with the DVD and boasts his Warrior persona to the point where he actually capitalizes “Him and He” when referring to himself in the 3rd person as if he’s Godly.

Okay dickhead, this is simple. How Godly will you be when someone points a gun at you? I guarantee that you would piss your pants in fear of your life tard, so if you want to refer yourself as the “HE is known as I AM”, maybe you should point one at your juggernaut head and make sure you can actually pull the trigger until it goes “click” and rise with your pitiful soul still intact before you refer to yourself so high and mightily.

I hate to put it so violently because I am hardly the violent type. I mean, I enjoy a good ass whoopin’, and I’m not hesitant to give one. I just hate seeing people so narcissistically blind by their self that would actually put themselves on that level in a tardly fashion.

Warrior, you are nothing but another mere mortal like me. Would you stomp me? Sure. Would you verbally assassinate me? Based on how much thought you have put into you “Warrior Philosophy”, probably. But where I got you is a simple principle. I am sane. We are sane, and we see threw you Jim, and it looks pitiful.

The first official Tard: Jim Hellwig (I will not call you Ultimate Warrior any longer because the true Ultimate Warrior is Dead. You are only a shell.)

Another Month, Another Entry

Call the Blog Police, I'm committing class 1 blog felony. Add another count of Blogger Abuse to my rap sheet.

Anyhow, things got a little crazy this last month. Me and mine took a week off work to get some time to relax and catch up on some personal stuff. We went up north and spent a weekend @ a family retreat. It was real nice spending time with my pops, my brother and his family and whatnot.

Now after we got back is when things started getting all shitty. We show up to see an "End of Lease" Notice posted on our door. Well since we signed a 15 month lease, this is obviously an error right....ha. Turns out we got bullshitted into thinking we signed a 15 month lease when we actually got jammed with a 12 month lease. We scramble to find our copy of the most current lease, and come up short (a 22 year olds mistake: keep your papers in check playas!!). So our relaxing week turns into an apartment hunt. Fortunately we found a sweet joint closer to clique. So we are moving in November and are now getting our shit str8. Hell ya!

You Ready?...You Ready?...LET GET IT ON!!!!!!

That's right! It's time to see some of the best mixed martial artists pound eachother's skulls senseless. Of course you know we have to throw a parlay to enjoy the occasion. In addition to that, we will also have our own competition that has yet to be announced. It shall be a crunk weekend indeed!

Mid-August Report...

Well I managed to neglect my blog again. This month has been hella busy with (work of course), my sweetheart's parents being in town, my sweetheart's birthday, the Sammy Hagar concert, and our 3 year anniversary (up in Sedona). We still have a UFC 54 party this weekend, and a little family get-together at the top of the next month! This has been the busiest month I can remember. I have this haunting feeling that I'm leaving out some stuff to due to Tequila Memory loss.

My Woman

We found out that my sweetheart's parents will be moving to Phoenix sometime in the near future. This is a good and a bad thing. It means we're gonna have to str8n up our acts! LOL, and there ain't no lie about that either yo, she's 'The Pastor's Daughter'! It means church every other Sundays (this could be a good thing since I'm sure this tequila habit has put me DEEP in the hole with "The Powers that Be"). No more slackin' of our responsibilities @ home due to possible unexpected surprise visits (this will also benefit me since I've been emphasizing a need for improvement). This is just the main 2 issues. Nevertheless, it'll be good to get them in town where we can actually see them on a regular basis.

My sweetheart's Birthday was a simple dinner and evening together, can't ask for anything more basic than that.

Too much Sammy can cause Kidney problems!

The Sammy concert was nearly ruined because the Sweetheart decided to not take proper care of herself and get a Kidney infection right in the middle of the f*N CONCERT. What I mean by this is that by the time we hit the concert, she was in tears from her back feeling like someone wacked her with a hammer. She said she'd be fine to drive home and insisted I stayed and finish the concert since we had other peeps with us (damn str8 yo, she's an MVP like that). So I made sure she was cool enough to handle it, and then let her roll. I missed about 1/3 of the concert due to this and I will never forgive her for it, but what am I supposed to do, beat her up about it verbally for the rest of her life. She didn't ask to get sick, you just have to deal with it, it's out of her hands as well as mine. At least I got to see him play at all!

Our Anniversary in Sedona was great. It was nice to get out of Phoenix and breathe some fresh air and whatnot. The first day we went by Montezuma's Castle.



It's amazing how people survived back in the day without the means and tools we have today.

Then we went out to the Oaxaca, a fine Mexican restaurant where to my delight the had Cabo Wabo Anejo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like pure Diamonds!

Since I have never been blessed with having the Legendary Juggernaut of Cabo Wabo Tequilas, I was grateful to God for the find. It was like a personal Anniversary gift from the heavens.

Next morning we went up to the Chapel of the Holy Cross. This is an amazing piece of work. If you ever go to Sedona, you need to check this place out. Whether you go to worship or go to appreciate good architecture. This place is amazing.





We had a pretty good time. Anyhow, enough with this post, it's way too long. Smell you L8r.

I'm too fat to deserve a cute lil' Sweetheart like her!

Interesting Week...

Well, the preceeding week began with me being my own boss. My supervisor took a week of vacation. Not that is was good that he was gone, I firmly believe my supervisor is 'Da Man'. We have similar interests and he doesn't get on my case often. He's a good dude. Anyhow, "Workwise" the week went smooth.

I won EXTRA Sammy Hagar tickets and got on the radio. That kicked ass until I got the tickets and realized that the tickets I had purchased were WAY better than the free ones. lol. Ah well, I'll just give them away or something and allow the Cabo Wabo Nature to spread to another.

The Law and I got into our biggest argument in history concerning how our money was being used for all of the events we are planning for in August. After weathering the storm, we are probably the best off we've been in quite a while. Hopefully it'll stay that way for a while.

The weekend consisted of a traditional get-together @ the Rageness' place. It was fun stuff bullshitting and getting nice and ripped. Sunday was recovery. But it really wasn't recovery since I went to work out with Rageness with a rough hangover. It's good to get back into the gym though, Fo'Sho.

My Father...

Through thick and thin, there's one thing I can always say about my father; he's always been a great rock. He has a very good outlook on life and when you start hitting areas in your life where there's turbulence and trouble, his words of wisdom always helps you analyze your issue at a broader aspect. Time and time again, I've called him or sat down with him and layed down the situation troubling me at hand, and time and time again (whether I agreed with him or not) his '2nd opinion' on the deal has always been handy.

I won't get too into his background, but he grew up in Inglewood, CA. He created a career for himself as an Electrician and has done so for at least 30+ years. His pastime consisted of being a biker(or Motorcycle Enthusiast as he likes to call it). Nowadays he enjoys his life in the peaceful mountains in Northern Arizona.

Anyhow, here's a few pics of him around 3 weeks ago when we went out to see him.

I'll post about him more when I have the proper time to do so, but I thought I'd give him some well deserved props for being a good father.

I love the trampoline pic, it's priceless!

Crunksiders Rally

Three weeks ago we had a Crunksiders Rally themed Socs vs. Greasers (if you don't recall what movie yet then you need your balls or your clit ripped off!). Here are a few pics from the event.

Rageness chillin'


Shuz 'cold' chillin'


Rage Frontin'


Intro: Notorious-left Sodapop-right


Notorious and a cute breezie


Crunksiders 4 Life

The Weekend and the Slwatka People...

So this weekend I went back to my home town to welcome back our old friend Mark back from Navy duty. We got nice and slothy drunk and had to walk our way through the badlands of Globe to rest our heads after running into old peeps at the local taverns and clubs. It was good to see old pussy still clinging to that shit hole, but hell, I guess we all do in some sort of way.

I slept on a recliner, my buddy Rageness McChaos (no real names here...oops, sorry Mark!) and his breezie Shuze hit a couch and Mark...well...

It was okay though...he has returned to raucousness.

.

.
...

I have discovered a new race of people. This new race of people are the Slwatka People. They are the army of the Cabo Wabo Special Forces.

General Rageness McChaos


Lieutenant Commander Ravicsious laeN


Enson G-Funk


Diva Deputy Luscious Jackson


Corpral Darren Layton


Maiden Svendla "The Law" Capernacus

I would take extreme caution if I was someone who poses threat to Cabo Wabo and the Cabo Wabo Nation. The will react without conscious.

The Philosophy...

So what is Uncle Cabo's "Cabo Wabo" Philosophy? It's very simple. Live life to the fullest i.e. party your ass off, get that sexy breezie eating out of your hands, and don't take shit from nobody and do what you want to do. It varies from person to person.

I lost track of these things because of a lot of reasons, stress, responsibilities, etc. I was taking care of business, but not taking care of it to enjoy it. I was only taking care of it to get it done.

I'm sure it seemed like I was going to really get in depth in this philosophy, but to be honest, I can't really put it into words. Once you have drank Cabo, either are one of the chosen ones and it changes you or you are not so fortunate and it don't.

PHILOSOPHICAL RESURRECTION

So I sit at work, home, or wherever and feel abnormal as if something is wrong. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of the night, I have lost touch with the Cabo Wabo. This alarms me as if I suddenly felt the pain of a heart attack. So I get out of bed and slam down some Cabo, no lime, just str8. As the Cabonano-organisms rush inside my bloodline, I feel the warmth, I feel goodness. So after the drastic measures, I smile and make me a soothing Waborita (I swear the best one is always the NEXT ONE). I go outside to and sit in the balcony and begin to plot out the road back to Cabo greatness.

You see, there is more to being one with Cabo. There are the ones that take the fun Cabo gives them, but never give back. That's where the truth and difference can be identified. Go out and have the parties of your life and get hella crunk off Cabo, but when the next day comes; if that is all that comes out of it, then you are lacking 'The Force' inside. Sorry for the Star Wars parody, but it runs right along with it. You must live and breathe Cabo, and as crazy as that sounds to some (whom obviously don't understand), it's more that a tequila, it's a way of life. It's a philosophy.

I lost touch with that philosophy, but the first step in the direction to resurrection is to recognize the problem. As the days go by and each day is plotted in accord with the philosophy, the greatness will return soon enough.

So what is the philosophy? You will know soon enough...

Burnin' on E

These 3 weeks have been Hell. I'm averaging roughly 5 hours of sleep and i started to catch up to me this morning as my alarm clock could not wake my snorring ass up and I got in a bit of trouble because I was late for work by like 45 minutes or so while my boss, his boss, her boss and eventually even HIS boss witnessed this. How did I not get fired do you ask? Well, it's because I'm Uncle Cabo man! I'm YOUR Uncle, I'm their Uncle, I'm EVERYONE'S UNCLE! I mean, who can fire their own Uncle? Not many. I also believe that The Force known as Cabo Wabo protects me. On a side note, they understood that that kind o thing happens from time to time and I've really never had this happen before, lol, probably my free-be.

I can't wait for this weekend to finally arrive. I'm thinking a Bar-BQ or something or maybe a calm weekend at home with the tube and Cabo Medatation i.e. Waboritas Coronas etc.

Regardless, this ass is beat don and it's time to relax this weekend! FO'SHO!

May the Cabo be with You!

Bustin' My Ass

So it turns out I'm going to be working 3 weeks straight without a day off. If the money wasn't right, I'd be kicking someones ass right now regarding this. So it'll be the weekday sitting at the desk and shit, and standing up for hours at a time with the delicate touch as the almighty camera man during the weekend. Fortunately it's already half way over with! I figure a shot of Cabo daily will get the mind stimulated just enough to keep the sanity throughout this. Too bad I'm not shooting a "Girls Gone Cabo Wabo" video series! NOW THAT WOULD BE CRUNK!

Bust Out with the Eggs, Cuz it's Sizzlin' Out There!!!

Phoenix in the summer can be a bitch. The sun is just having a fucking field day...every damn day now! It's all good though because I was driving home from work the other day and had seen this real fine sweetheart high steppin' in clothes so thin and small, her cell phone was STILL TOO BIG. She was probably some jailbait enjoying the beginning of summer break and her barely on summer wordrobe. God can be cruel, these chicklings are looking older by the minute. You go to the mall and get a number or what the fuck ever and then ask the age...15....16...! Damn looks near 22 year old prime college meat. Dangerous game boys....dangerous! It's definitely a perk to hitched up nowadays because it makes that kinda thing is a non-issue.

I need memorial weekend and in a hurry!

Uncle Cabo Expands to Blogger

Well let's start this off by explaining who this is. I am your Uncle Cabo and I will beat you like a red headed step child when you look at me wrong, introduce you to your first alcoholic episode whether that being a good time in a local titty bar or a tragic benge incident leaving you at the detox center smelling like your own piss, and will laugh at you when you get your ass thrashed by a genetic freak named Joanie whose arms are bigger and hairier and her "bulge" are as big as mine.

I will also praise you when you hook up with the sexiest *breezie in the place, hoist you on my shoulders after any successful throwdown you encounter, and anything else positive you do in improving and flexing your masculinity.

If you are of the female persuasion and are beautiful, you will receive the upmost attention you are already used to getting but with a kick, I will tell you whether or not I'm doing it to get down your pants or not. No games here I'm afraid, and since I am "tied down" at the moment ; chances are I am merely enjoying your sexy and fun company. If you are not beautiful you will receive the respect you deserve as long as you know your role and not act like you are the "big show" of the party. Since being beautiful is a perception of attributes both physically and mentally, it's all up to you and the way you perceive yourself and the way you carry it. So don't blame me if you get my beer up your nose and your thong wedged over your head.

Now I hate to just introduce myself and run, but I'm going before I get a caught typing on the job. Check ya later.

*breezie- n. An all around sweetheart worth your time as well as mine.