Bust Out with the Eggs, Cuz it's Sizzlin' Out There!!!

Phoenix in the summer can be a bitch. The sun is just having a fucking field day...every damn day now! It's all good though because I was driving home from work the other day and had seen this real fine sweetheart high steppin' in clothes so thin and small, her cell phone was STILL TOO BIG. She was probably some jailbait enjoying the beginning of summer break and her barely on summer wordrobe. God can be cruel, these chicklings are looking older by the minute. You go to the mall and get a number or what the fuck ever and then ask the age...15....16...! Damn looks near 22 year old prime college meat. Dangerous game boys....dangerous! It's definitely a perk to hitched up nowadays because it makes that kinda thing is a non-issue.

I need memorial weekend and in a hurry!

Uncle Cabo Expands to Blogger

Well let's start this off by explaining who this is. I am your Uncle Cabo and I will beat you like a red headed step child when you look at me wrong, introduce you to your first alcoholic episode whether that being a good time in a local titty bar or a tragic benge incident leaving you at the detox center smelling like your own piss, and will laugh at you when you get your ass thrashed by a genetic freak named Joanie whose arms are bigger and hairier and her "bulge" are as big as mine.

I will also praise you when you hook up with the sexiest *breezie in the place, hoist you on my shoulders after any successful throwdown you encounter, and anything else positive you do in improving and flexing your masculinity.

If you are of the female persuasion and are beautiful, you will receive the upmost attention you are already used to getting but with a kick, I will tell you whether or not I'm doing it to get down your pants or not. No games here I'm afraid, and since I am "tied down" at the moment ; chances are I am merely enjoying your sexy and fun company. If you are not beautiful you will receive the respect you deserve as long as you know your role and not act like you are the "big show" of the party. Since being beautiful is a perception of attributes both physically and mentally, it's all up to you and the way you perceive yourself and the way you carry it. So don't blame me if you get my beer up your nose and your thong wedged over your head.

Now I hate to just introduce myself and run, but I'm going before I get a caught typing on the job. Check ya later.

*breezie- n. An all around sweetheart worth your time as well as mine.